Thursday, May 27, 2010


OK, so friends of the show already know that my good friend the vampire showed up again at work, which is awesome. What is he doing? Just running around being a vampire. Showing off his pipes. In the above photo, he is observed licking his lips as he eyes a woman's jugular.

And I don't want to hear any nonsense about "Oh, you shouldn't make fun of him, he's sick. Oh, maybe he's got porphyria or something."

Bullshit. Maybe he's a GODDAMN NOSFERATU. Because that's what he is.

Now, on this occasion he tried to button hook everybody by wearing a Laguna Beach lifeguard shirt, as though he likes nothing better than to bask in the sun. That is also bullshit. The only way he survived entering the building was because he walked in wearing jet black Hefty trash bags covering every inch of his body.

Proof # 1 that this guy is actually a representative of the undead:

Look at him menace those Vera Wang sheets! He can't hold up the act forever, man. If you wait long enough, he shows his true face. Some lady just passed by with a crucifix around her neck, so he got all huffy. That is one pissed off vampire.

Proof # 2 that this guy is immortal and will drink your damn blood:

He can't hold up the act perfectly. This photo clearly shows him folding his arms across his body. That's because as soon as his conscious mind slips out of "blending" mode, he just naturally folds his arms just like he does when he's resting in his coffin.

Case closed. Brooklyn Center is crawling with many creatures of the night, but this nosferatu is my favorite.

- Ryan

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