Sunday, March 16, 2008

Tales of the Banal, Part 1

Well, I have nothing epic or groundbreaking to share, which is disconcerting. So rather than trot something out that pretends to be good, I thought I'd share a small handful of uninspiring tid-bits.

#1: Here's how you can be in Witchblade, as I promised on the show a bloody week ago.

#2: Penance: Relentless kicked serious, serious ass.

This mini-series has now officially landed on my List of Legends. I have a few arcs and minis that aren't really in the "comic book canon", but have left an indelible mark on me. Nicieza's Nomad mini, for one. The first six issues of Starlin's Dreadstar for another. People will not talk about them in the same breath as Dark Knight or Watchmen, and that's fine. To me, they are divine.

And I know I've been on this horse for awhile, but it still deserves mention because the ending could have refused to pay off and ruined the whole thing. But the ending rocked.

I don't know exactly how he pulled it off. Paul Jenkins took an unsympathetic character in a gimp suit and crafted a tigthly plotted, emotionally satisfying, continuity enriching psycho-drama.

If you're reading this, you probably either A) don't give a flying fig about Speedball/Penance or B) HATE Speedball/Penance. This proves your good mental health. I'm telling you, go out and order the trade regardless. You must see this to believe it.

#2: I was right about the X-23 stuff I was spouting about last week

You may recall that I tried to call my shot and predict that X-23 collections would be soon to spike. We're already seeing the evidence, friends.

How do I know the jump is coming? I tried to order two copies of NYX: Wannabe from Instocktrades and got denied on the second. That's right, beeyatches. I got the last copy of the book from instock, and the bloody thing is out of print.

That means it's pretty much officially in the hands of the secondary market now, and God help those who want this one a year from now. Your going to need $50 at least. You can still pick up Wannabe for $15-$20 if you really care to put the effort in, and I'm recommending you do buy them at those rates. With the understanding that the payoff is still in the future. Do you have the faith and patience?

Incidentally, I'm going to reiterate that the NYX/X-23 hardcover is the one you want. The one that collects Wannabe and Innocence Lost. Find them for $20 and quintuple your investment this time next year. It's coming.

#4: Young Liars review

I picked up David Lapham's Young Liars #1 mostly because I have a longstanding love affair with Pre-Unity Valiant. That love affair never got me to pick up a single issue of Stray Bullets for some reason, but I failed my save vs. Young Liars, I guess.

I can't give it an enthusiastic endorsement, because there is not one character in that book that I wouldn't like to put a bullet in. And it seems a bit...pretentious at times. I felt the same way about Veitch's Army At Love, actually.

I'm not afraid of different, believe me. I spend much of my day praying for it. But this is so intentionally and flamboyantly bizarre that it gets irritating. I'm trying to enjoy a comic, and it keeps shouting asinine things like:

"Look at how edgy I am! Dear God, can you even stand how much cooler I am than you? My comic has a transvestite and no superheroes in it, that makes me way better than Green Lantern, doesn't it?"

Actually, doesn't. I would rather a comic just shut up and tell me a story rather than rub my nose in how pedestrian I've become. Anywho.

Young Liars is the convoluted story of a group of friends caught up in the maelstrom that is Sadie Dawkins. She's the daughter of a retail mogul who accidentally gets a bullet in her brain that makes her the world's most obnoxious bitch imaginable.

The bullet is eventually going to kill her, and that might actually be enjoyable to read. In the interim, the premise seems to suggest that her irrational behavior is going to cause one catastrophic nugget of hijinx after another. Especially for the dumb ass who has had the poor fortune to fall in lust with this beast.

It's possible I will continue with the saga in the futile hope that it will turn into hidden adventures of Pre-Unity Harbinger. Or, I may kick its ass to the curb. Pretentious little bitch.
- Ryan

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