Market Spotlight: Hack Slash My First Maniac HC!

Hack Slash: My First Maniac S/N HC

Image Comics

ISBN: 9781607063391

Suggested retail = $29.99

This is a fun one because I can recommend it whole heartedly on all levels.  This series is a great read, and this property does really nice business in the secondary market, where an ever-growing cult following chases down an ever dwindling supply.

The move to Image has also been good for Hack Slash on every level.  The audience is larger, Tim Seeley is paid with money instead of office space, and the product is distributed better.  Back in the Devil's Due era the game was to wait for a Hack Slash trade to hit and buy a half dozen, wait a couple months for the supply to dry up - then collect your earnings.  They did go back to press on occasion, but not quickly enough to meet demand.

At Image, the product seems to be flowing much more freely, especially those Omnibus editions, and that's just smart business.  Bad for whores like me trying to game the market, but good for comics, so I don't mind.  Then Image found a way to appease everybody and released the My First Maniac mini as an incredibly affordable TPB and a collector friendly limited hardcover.

I called my shot on this one back when it was first solicited, not that you'd need a degree in economics to see it coming.  While Image may go back to press on that trade multiple times, there will only be one press of the limited edition hardcover, signed by Seeley.  That's the one the hard core are going to want, and the hard core Hack Slash group gets bigger by the month.

As well it should.  The book satisfies on a number of levels.  It's a love letter to horror films, comics, and nerds.  It's got a healthy respect for both T and A, it's a "buddy cop" book, and often legitimately creepy and hilarious in the same issue.  Hack Slash is about seven leagues more clever than you think it is, and it's Seeley's baby, not a paycheck.  I've gotten my money's worth out of every issue, and I think that My First Maniac # 1 might be the best issue Seeley's written so far.

The bottom line is that the window is closing quickly on buying this hardcover for less than $100.  As I type this, it's still available at Instocktrades for $18.59, which is completely absurd.  Right this second Amazon min for the book is $80, and that's because I just undercut everybody by about $20.  Do yourself a favor and a grad yourself a My First Maniac trade to read and a hardcover to flip.  I fully endorse buying at the SRP of $29.99 as well.  You want to be at 3:1 ideally, and since Hack Slash has such a strong history, I don't think it's unreasonable to see this trading at $100+ in the very near future.  And for less than $20...back up the truck!

- Ryan

Chronic Review: The Occultist!

The Occultist (one shot)

Dark Horse Comics

Script:      Mike Richardson/Tim Seeley

Pencils:     Victor Dujiniu?

26 pages for $3.50

According to the back matter, The Occultist is an attempt for Dark Horse to expand their line past the Gold Key/Valiant properties.  The issue identifies itself as a one-shot, and my interpretation is that this is sort of a "Pilot Season" audition to generate interest for a potential ongoing.  If that's the case, I would think that the Occultist failed.

This is yet another in a very, very long series of "average bloke has monumental powers foisted upon them" type riff.  Rob Bailey is a complete loser mama's boy. His girlfriend dumps him, (and her name is introduced in a really awkward piece of exposition to the right) she's cheating on him, his mother dominates his life, he works part time at a book store, and he sucks.  His book store job allows a mystical book to intersect with him, and he unwittingly becomes a focus for all kinds of arcane power/knowledge, and the obligatory band of ominous bad guys that comes with such power and knowledge.

The idea, of course, is that we see Bailey as somebody we can relate to, tap into his Campbellian Heroes Journey of "little fish thrust into scary new pond", and invest ourselves in watching him rise above the fray.  The problem with that is when the formula is so utterly well trodden and transparent, its difficult to fall prey to the intrigue of it.

I think the book could still work if there were anything to like about Mr. Bailey, or anything fresh in the execution of the plot.  The boogeyman Aiden Beck is an Evil Grant Morrison, which was entertaining visually for a few panels, but there was nothing the character said or did that justified any continued fascination.  The "Crows" weren't strictly ciphers, but they weren't particularly compelling, either.  They gathered my interest only when one of them did a spot on Vlad impersonation and said "Hrrrm.  Bad."  But of course all that really served to do was remind me that I would rather be reading Hack Slash.

No, the villains aren't great, you'll loathe the "hero" of the story, which means that the only place left to find any intrigue is with the book's unique mythos regarding "The Sword".  I don't believe that works very well, either.  I don't see how that mystery can have any draw unless you care about the people involved, or unless you do something like "The Da Vinci Code" and twist something familiar if not iconic.

I don't see where that interest would come from.  Bailey dispatches the Crow lackeys with a blast of mystical energy that he had nothing at all to do with.  Surely the plan is to get Rob more deeply ingrained in the "Sword" culture, and maybe someday there's something to the character.  But as it stands, he's a walking annoyance with the ability to make all his troubles go away with a subconscious whisk of his hand via his internal Deus Ex Machina.  Hard to imagine how it could get more boring than that.

If you want your Seeley fix, I highly recommend Hack Slash or Colt Noble.  I'm taking a pass on any further adventures of The Occultist.


- Ryan

Chronic Review: Hack/Slash My First Maniac # 1!

Hack/Slash: My First Maniac # 1
Image Comics
Script: Tim Seeley
Art: Daniel Leister
22 pages for $3.50

Hack/Slash: My First Maniac takes us back to Cassie Hack's adolescence, and in the process grows out of its own. Hack/Slash has always been good for a laugh, and it's always been clever about poking fun at horror films, comics, and itself. I'm seeing evidence that the book is growing into something more.

To be clear, there was nothing wrong with where the book was at previously. Tim Seeley was producing entertaining comics under unfortunate economic conditions at Devils Due. He soldiered through it longer than he probably should have in the name of loyalty and integrity. Seeley took ownership of the situation and borrowed money personally to make good for his artists when DDP could not, and now....a new start.

I suppose that I don't have access into the mind of Tim Seeley. I do have a history with this franchise as a fan, though. And as I finished the first issue of My First Maniac I thought to myself "He's pulling a Joss Whedon on this."

You remember Buffy the Vampire Slayer, right? Before it built a Whedon empire and pretty much redefined genre television, it was a really quirky movie starring Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, and Pee Wee Herman for God's sake.

To be fair, it wasn't a great film, but neither was it a travesty. It was just...silly. A bit clever, certainly unexpected, and silly. That's essentially where Hack Slash has been. I'm not suggesting that nothing dark or developed ever happened at Devils Due. But for the most part it worked as a parody, the action was largely cartoony, and it was played for laughs. It felt "safe."

My First Maniac is not safe. There are no "haha teehee" moments reminding us of the absurdities of Nightmare on Elm Street. Cassie Hack suffers a series of real hurts, both physical and psychological. We get far more interior access into Cassie's emotional state, and Seeley kind of breaks your heart as Cassie chooses to strip away every normal and "girly" element from her life so that she can defend a world that probably doesn't deserve her.

From a plot standpoint, this is a development of an origin story that we already know pieces of. Cassie Hack began hunting "slashers" because her mother was one. Maniac shows us details of what happened directly after that. She's placed in a foster home, and has a window for claiming a mundane existence, maybe even a happy one.


I think that's the thing that struck me most about this issue, is that it was clear to me that Cassie had a choice. Not an easy one, but a choice. In the end, she decides that facing off against supernatural horrors is more palatable than facing down cheerleader hate squads and opening up to new people who probably care for her. It feels less vulnerable and more natural for her to hunt slashers and feed off the pain. And it feels real, not cartoony.

This is not your father's Hack Slash. I noticed Seeley playing around with parallelism, which I hadn't noticed before. I think the move to Image was a chance to re-evaluate and re-energize the franchise, and I like what I see. Cassie Hack and this book are growing up!

I'm not sure if this is a limited experiment, or if Seeley really is pulling a Whedon here and consciously taking this thing to new level of sophistication. It's felt for awhile like the book was growing, actually. Feeding less off of pop culture and becoming more layered, more self-referential.

Is this a good place for new readers to start? Most definitely. Will I be disappointed to see Hack/Slash return to its more comedic roots? No, I wouldn't. I think it's quite viable to throw a variety of emotional tones to a series without betraying the audience. Sometimes Spider-Man can be a straight popcorn action book, and sometimes you get a "Kraven's Last Hunt", you know? There's room for both, and I'm simply impressed with Seeley spreading his wings and crafting a different kind of well-told tale.

- Ryan

Chronic: Week in Reviews

Coffee, tea......or me? Well, that's me. With tea. Twinnings Irish breakfast tea, actually. Thanks to Cian for putting me onto that little delight, and thank you Ireland for being populated entirely by hilarious and angry people.

I was going to sit down and start hammering out another lengthy, dull review for nobody to read. I've decided that I would very much like to spend my evening watching episodes of Fringe while drinking more of this tea, so instead prepare yourself for a slew of items touched upon quite briefly.

The first thing I need to get to is Fantastic Four # 578, which was extraordinary as per usual. My love affair with this book is now well documented, so I should probably just shut up about it. Nah.

Eaglesham paints a scene in this issue when Johnny brings a bimbo home that is so deliciously disturbing.....you just have to see it. And by the way, that little bimbo was part of yet another layer that Hickman is layering onto this cake, which is already about 70 layers deep. This is the must read book in Marvel comics right now.

And remember those "home page" epilogues at the end of the last several issues, that read almost like a historian's recap of connected events? Turns out that our little Valeria has been creating those notes. It's also implied that she's worked out the "four cities" on her own, and I'm not convinced that her father has pieced that together yet. Clever girl, clever girl. I repeat: this is the must read book in Marvel comics right now.

Not far behind is Matty Fraction's Invincible Iron Man # 25. Or as I like to call it these days - Iron Man: Undouched! Tony Stark's recently uploaded mind doesn't contain any of the completely absurd crap that Mark Millar made him do, and voila! It's a brand new day, only without the Mephisto fisting.

Incidentally, Fraction is self-effacing enough to admit inside the book how silly it would be for Tony Stark to leave himself with an incomplete memory when he could have very easily had it refresh itself daily. I like that, actually.

That issue also contains a new foil in the form of Detroit Steel, some Machiavellian hijinx from the Hammer girls, and a cannot miss conversation between Tony Stark and Thor. This is mainstream superhero comics done correctly. Why this won't be offered at movie theaters across the nation on May 7 is beyond me.

Siege: Secret Warriors is kinda fun. This is about as good as you can hope for with these obligatory event tie-ins. There is a scene in here with Cap and Nick Fury that is so over the top...you either love it or you hate it. Maybe it's just my man crush on Jonathan Hickman, but I choose to love it.

This was my first exposure to Phobos, being that I don't read Secret Warriors regularly. I just picked this up for friend of the show Nick, and the tax he paid for me buying this was me reading it. At any rate, the Phobos stuff was directly related to the events of Siege # 3, and an interesting avenue to take, and executed with some care. I particularly liked the letter to the President at the end. Hall of fame? No. But these things are so often a crime against God and Man, so anything better than blind rage is probably a huge win.

I finally did score a copy of X-Factor # 204 at the Source. Bleeding Cool is feeling some market heat on this one with the unadvertised first appearance of the New New Avengers. I guess I can see that, although I'm not convinced that's why I had such a damnable time finding one of these. I honestly can't explain it.

Incidentally, X-Factor continues to kick seven shades of ass. The cliffhanger ending in this one can't possibly be true, and that's fine. The hook is finding out how Mr. David button-hooked us next month. This isn't pathetic false emotional gravitas a la X-Factor # 26. This is a showman at the top of his game having fun.

I like Peter David a lot. I just bought the Soulsearchers and Co. trades - that's how much I like Peter David.

I've recently decided that I need less money and have started collecting comic shop promotional posters! My first purchase was this Miracleman ad from 1985. It's got a DNAgents advert on the other half of it. I'm going to display mine with just Miracleman showing.



Why would I do this to myself? I don't know. I guess because I don't have the funds to collect original art, and something feels special about certain items. I look at this thing and say to myself "This could have been on the walls at Shinders 25 years ago, and nobody would have known how much trouble this little no-name UK character would cause for everyone." I would imagine Miracle Keith would be super jealous that I have this, except for the fact that he probably has three of them. Signed by Alan Moore. In the blood of Glycon.

I'm sure there's nobody in this boat, but for those of you whose first exposure to Hack/Slash was issue # 32....it's not always like this. Wow. I'm not mad or anything, because Seeley is on his way out of DDP and needed to get these things on the rack so he could move on to Image.

This comic doesn't really contain any pencils, we're pretty much left with the breakdowns. Seeley's cover looks like it was created by his 13 year-old self in about 15 minutes. It's kinda sad in that way. The silver lining is that everybody got paid, and this little gem can shine again at Image very soon. Good news!

I forgot to give Mike my copy of DV8: Gods & Monsters # 1 so he could read it. This is Brian Wood rebooting the concept, which was basically Gen 13 kids only really, really naughty. The concept is actually quite good. The team is dropped onto God knows what planet and left to their own devices in what looks like some kind of a "Trading Places" dollar bet about what would happen to the poor natives.

The concept is indeed good, the execution to this point has been lackluster. It's a set up issue, so I'll give benefit of the doubt on that. I'd really rather wait for the trade on this...but we'll see. I think part of the problem is that I have no prior love for any of these characters, so there's no juice for me in seeing how they've grown/twisted since I last saw them.

We just recorded the first real edition of "Nerds of the Round Table", and idea born from Mike and Mike mostly in which a rotating cast of podcast stalwarts tackle varying subjects as time and interest permit. We decided to tackle Iron Man 2, which is coming out in about a week, and the show went pretty well.

For some reason the blog won't create a clickable link for the podcast, so here's the gobbledygook:

http://nerdsoftheroundtable.mypodcast.com/

For the record, I'm predicting disappointment for the film. I have great faith in the director and the cast. I have zero confidence in Justin Theroux, and the reports I'm hearing about the rushed, shifted on the fly, clusterfucked nature of this production leave me more than a little concerned. They went in with essentially no script, and their non-script got wholesale re-worked right up to about.....five minutes ago.

It's one thing to allow yourself the flexibility to let better ideas creep in and the talent to shine in unexpected ways. It's another thing to go in without much a plan and make crap up as you go along. That's a good way to run an episode of Chronic Insomnia. It's a really dicey way to produce Iron Man 2. Don't get me wrong...I'm anticipating this film more than anything else in 2010, and I'm going to go see it in the theater. I'm scared, though.

Good night y'all! I'm off to watch the adventures of Olivia Dunham and Walter Bishop....

-Ryan

Chronic Reviews: An Assload

I have a whole pile of books I've collected over the past few weeks just itching to get talked about. I can't go in depth with the whole lot, it would take too long. I'm not Ethan Van Sciver here, folks. I can't pull out four whole pages of material in a week. Sorry.

Instead I present you with a veritable assload of teeny tiny reviews which shall serve no purpose other than to give me an excuse to say mean things about people who are simply trying to entertain me. So let's do it....hut! hut! hut!

Cloak & Dagger (one shot)
Marvel Comics
(W)Stuart Moore/(P)Mark Brooks

These characters continue to languish in re-boot hell. They've tried mini-series, multiple ongoings, and there seems to be something that behaves like an engram with these two, because now matter how much the books SUCK, they continue to tantalize.

There is nothing in this one-shot that begs for the story to continue, that's for sure. This is baseline "woe is me, I'm different" nonsense with a trace of "jungle fever" thrown in for good measure.

Here's what needs to happen. These characters are more than 20 years old now - they can grow up a little bit. Give them a province or a mission, and make them viable adults proficient at what they do. Forget the muddied origin story. (which they backtracked on again in this issue) Make them strong people with something interesting to do.

My take? Cloak at his best dips into the darkforce dimension and just knows shit that other people don't. Give them an invasion force that only Cloak can detect, kind of like "They Live". Hickman just brought the Dire Wraiths back in FF # 577, why not them? Now Cloak & Dagger can be fugitive heroes running around whacking important people in the community who are actually wraiths in disguise.

It's perfect! I just made you $300,000 between the kick-ass ongoing series and the hit Cloak & Dagger movie it would spawn. You're welcome, Marvel. All I ask in return is that you only charge me $2.99 per issue, and you get Paul Jenkins to write it. Next!

Blackest Night # 8
DC Comics
(W)Geoff Johns/(P) Ivan Reiss

I've been back and forth on this whole thing way too many times. At first I was very much in love, sometimes I think the whole spectrum thing got too complex and too silly, then we'd get some really nice character moments in the midst of the chaos and I was back in.

A few notes on this issue. Like every "event" book these days, so many of the beats are just boiler-plate, obligatory, and BORING. Did I sort of enjoy the little Hawkman/Shiera moment that you could see coming from Tucson? Yeah, I guess I did.

Did I feel anything for the Martian Manhunter or Aquaman coming back? Nah. Did I feel inspired by the mandatory super splash pages of DCs biggest hitters in white costumes fightin' together for truth, justice, and LIFE ITSELF?? (Dun! Dun! DUUNNNN!) No, not really.

Maybe I'm just jaded at this point. Maybe there's some kid out there who hasn't read every event book since they began with Secret Wars (sorry Contest of Champions, you don't count) and thinks this is the feline's sleepwear. I aint that kid, and this sort of wrap-up with all these neat moments reads dangerously close to fan fiction. When I got done with this, it didn't even feel like the completion of a story. It felt like the launch of 13 new spin-offs and ongoings. I want a story, not a marketing ploy.

I don't want to give you the impression that I hated the book or the series, because I did not. I'm sticking with the regular Green Lantern title, which frankly had better moments than Blackest Night proper. But something felt a little empty inside the kaboom on this finale.

Hack/Slash # 30
Devil's Due Comics (for now)
(W)Tim Seeley/(P) Daniel Leister

One of the things I like about this book now is that it has enough history to reference itself and develop things and add depth. It would be off base to say that Hack/Slash takes itself seriously, because it treats nothing reverently, which is a good thing. What I'm saying is that this is not just a series of one-offs poking fun at the next beloved B-Movie on the list. Seeley has enough plot points in the bank where Cassie and Vlad live in their own created universe, and that's kinda neat, actually.

This is not the greatest issue of the series. I like Samhain, and I like the Black Lamp conspiracy, but this is not super juicy to me. One page made this more than worthwhile for me. The book shines in the quiet moments when Vlad and Cassie get to actually share their friendship. This issue featured Vlad sharing an anthropological experiment he's conducting, and a little window artwork. That was worth the $3.50 right there, and there are always laugh out loud moments in this book.

X-Factor # 203
Marvel Comics
(W)Peter David/(P)Valentine De Landro

Before I get to the story, let me bitch about the art very quickly. I'm not going to complain about Valentine De Landro, I like him just fine, and he's the closest thing we've had to a regular penciller. But that's just it - there never has been a regular penciller on X-Factor, and I don't get it. Does nobody want to work with Peter David? Doesn't sound right. Are people unwilling to draw X-Books? That really doesn't sound right. The closest thing we've had to a "name brand" was Ryan Sook as well. What's up with that? But I digest.

We used to rant and hoot and holler about X-Factor once a week on Chronic, and don't talk about it much any more. Don't be fooled for a moment into thinking the book is any less good, though. Right now I have three ongoings that I eagerly anticipate and can't wait to get home and crack: Hickman's Fantastic Four, Simone's Secret Six, and yes, David's X-Factor.

The results are in and Peter David has "failed". Sales did not double, this is not a top 10 selling title. The fault does not lie at the feet of Mr. David, however. He kicked seven shades of ass and we're so buried in glop that nobody notices quality any more. This is another reason why we need to engage in "winnowing", so that we have less noise to distract from the quality that does abound if you're diligent or lucky enough to stumble upon it. But I digest. Again.

This is sort of a Guido issue, and I'm fine with that, because the guy is hilarious. Always. It also features Monet in a more vulnerable spot than we're used to. Plus, it looks like we may get to see Guido and Monet together in ways that we're not used to. Ways that should be really goddamn entertaining to watch, which is pretty much how X-Factor works. If you're missing this title, you're missing a lot. Truth in advertising? You will need the backstory in order to be in on everything. Go back to the beginning of this iteration and you'll be fine, trust me.

American Vampire # 1
DC/Vertigo Comics
(W)Scott Snyder & Stephen King/(P) Rafael Albuquerque

I was anticipating this one quite a bit, mostly for the original King material. You can hardly go wrong with Vertigo, though, which is a testament to the very much underrated Karen Berger.

This is an anthology series; Snyder gets the first half and focuses on a couple of would-be starlets who are visited by a mysterious stranger and may be biting off more than they can chew with their potential big break. King gets the second half and relates the tale of a dangerous criminal being transported by Pinkertons. Yes, there are vampires involved in both stories; both are interested in making you guess about who might be fangified or not.

These are both cute little vignettes, and in fact the thing that surprised me the most is that I might like Snyder's better. Nothing wrong with either end of the book, but neither am I super inspired to continue with it, either. Certainly not if they continue with the $3.99 price point. Stephen King fans and vampire fans, come on board! Unless you really can't stand period pieces, since both stories take place in the 1920s. (and seem like they might even dovetail together down the line)

Siege # 3
Marvel Comics
(W)Brian Bendis/(P) Olivier Coipel

I've been very public and very vocal about how much I despise Siege, and I was pretty much done with it after the second issue. But then I got to talking with Remy over at Where Monsters Dwell about this third issue, and he basically lost his ever-lovin' mind over the damn thing.

And then when I went to go find it at two of my local comic shops, there were no copies available. Hmmmm. Now I simply HAD to have it. So I ordered it from Lone Star and went for a third dose of Event Cancer.

Look, I'm not going to say I really like Siege. I just don't. It still has all the symptoms of Eventitis, in which it reads not as a story, per se, but as a very transparent marketing ploy that says all the same things we've been hearing in every other event book that has been pounded into us incessantly for the past...what...four years now? Big doings. Never the same. Everything changes here. BOOOOOOOM!

I'll say two nice things about Siege. 1) It isn't just marking time. This is an efficient title. Four issues, not seven or eight. There is a point, and Bendis is getting to it. Bravo.

2) You are definitely getting your fill of "big moments". If for some reason you are stupid enough to actually believe that any of this matters now, or that any of it will have ripples we'll feel even six months from now, than by all means enjoy your Epic Happenings, because they abound in Siege. Norman Osborne is gettin' his. He's wigging out. The Sentry is flexing his 1,000 sun explodey-type muscles. Entire kingdoms are looking like they're headed for the scratch-n-dent clearance bin.

It's all happening. Sort of. It's just, the other crap is too fresh in my mind. Remember Spider-Man: The Other? Yeah. Ever see anything that would lead you to believe that ever happened? Nah, me either. How about Civil War? Ever see folks hunting down fugitive heroes, or training to become certified, or putting people in the Negative Zone? You neither? Huh. That's weird.

Listen, if you're enjoying this, God bless you, ya little buggers. I'm glad you aren't jaded like the former Manatee. None of these explosions mean anything to me. The reader's investment is entirely predicated on their investment in the shared cohesive universe and the ramifications of mucking with that. There will be none. If you're stupid enough to believe there will be, you deserve your fate.

There will be a new "event" when this one dies that will not care one whit about Siege, and when sales on the ongoing books inevitably matriculate down a notch - guess what? It's reboot time!!!! Get ready to forget everything you ever knew about (insert name here) because now it's changing forever! And this time we mean it! Yawn.

Supergod # 3
Avatar Comics
(W)Warren Ellis/(P)Garrie Gastonny

Maybe I just don't have my thumb on the pulse...but my sense is that Warren's star has fallen a little bit. I remember when Mike & I first started recording Chronic in the summer of 2007, it was quite literally "The Summer of Ellis". He was everywhere, scowling, demanding attention. He had a novel come out, he was as big a name as comics had, and he was bigger than comics.

And that seems not to be the case any more. Nobody talks about that novel. Black Summer came and went, and I can't remember the last time we saw an issue of Doktor Sleepless. The Thunderbolts thing had some initial buzz, but that's over with. "Do Anything" is not a must-read column, I don't think.

The thing of it is, Warren is still Warren. Is that maybe the problem? Is his style and voice so distinctive at this point that we've already read all we need to? I sometimes wonder if the last vestige of us die-hard comic fans feel that way.

We're probably wrong about that, by the way, and the proof is in Supergod. Listen folks, Warren is still here, one half wide-eyed wondering child, one half sneering but wicked smart bastard.

Supergod is packed with wild epic ideas about real power, how governments feel about power, and of course there's some theology involved as well. Our narrator gets lectured by fungus god Morrigan Lugus in an absolute must-read bit. Is it soap box pontificating? Of course it is. This is what we pay (way too much) for when we buy a Warren Ellis comic book.

He's thought out the politics, the technology, and the social ramifications of a Supergod arms race. It's fun, it's intriguing, and you just can't get this anywhere else. Yes, our narrator sounds an awful lot like every other Warren Ellis character you've ever read in your life. Fuck that, who cares? It's a really good character, isn't it? The guy has a conversation with a Supergod twenty years in the past! You have to read it like three times to figure out what the hell is going on, because the idea is so fresh (at least it was to me) that you can't process it at first.

I do wish the goddamn thing didn't cost $3.99, but if I'm going to spend it...I'm spending it on stuff like this. "Morrigan Lugus was quite pleased, too. I should have been more worried about that." Are you kidding me? Long live Warren!

Brave & The Bold # 32
DC Comics
(W) JM Straczynski/(P)Jesus Saiz

JMS claims he's going to turn the world upside down and make it a top 10 book later in the year, and until then I'm just going to enjoy this book while it's good. Ideally books like this and Marvel's "What If" should be the height of entertainment. They're not bound particularly by continuity, you can mix-and-match anything you want, the sky is the limit! Of course ordinarily these things are yawners of the highest order, or hit-and-miss at best. JMS seems to be bringing it every month.

This month the pairing is Aquaman and The Demon, very odd to be sure. It fits with the premise though, which is very Lovecraftian and epic. If there's a weakness in the story, it's the constant transparent reminders about what a bad ass Aquaman is. OK, OK, we get it. We don't appreciate the guy enough! Jeez.

Outside of that, this is pretty entertaining. When you get done with this issue, you feel like you've been let in on a secret, something behind-the-scenes, and that's an element that a book like B&B should be using. Hey, go crazy, man!

I'm almost afraid now to get to the end of the year and have this little party ruined by the "bid doings". I'm so tired of that I could spew. Why can't we be satisfied with things that are actually interesting? I guess the answer is that 100,000 people will read whatever nonsense is thrown out there with an event banner on the cover, and only me and 14 other people read this issue.

Is it DCs fault? The retailers? I know DC doesn't really promote the title, even though they have a heavy hitter at the reins. I don't know about you, but I've never been directed to quality books at my LCS, other than little cards with so-and-sos "pick of the week". Of course not knowing how many times so-and-so has been in rehab or dropped as a child, it's difficult to know how much stock to put in such recommendations.

Bottom line, this is a really good title that nobody will ever know about until JMS starts throwing it into heavy continuity and probably ruins it. Awesome!

Chronic Review: Colt Noble & The Megalords

Colt Noble & The Megalords
Image Comics
Scripts: Tim Seeley
Pencils: Mike Dimayuga
64 pages for $5.99


To cut to the quick, Colt Noble is a He-Man parody. This should come as no surprise to Hack/Slash fans, who are used to Seeley lovingly splashing that book with 80s references. Hack/Slash is also no stranger to parody.

And if you're a fan of Hack/Slash, there's no reason why you wouldn't enjoy Colt Noble. It's the same happy mix of dark humor, sex appeal, and gratuitous action. When you get done reading a Tim Seeley offering, you're guaranteed to be grinning at the end.



This is comics done fun, what Alan Moore would probably refer to as "hamburger reading." But you know what? A good hamburger is well....good.

The plot? I wouldnt' bother, but the gist of the story is that young Prince Jaysen is supposed to be learning how to be a man so he can learn how to be a king. He's more interested in getting into his personal trainer Mareea's pants. Or blouse. He'd like to get anywhere with her, but he's actually just a little dink.

The conflict? Again, not particularly important, but a young lady named Hoodoo Hex gets pushed to the brink by some religiously intolerant D-Bags at the local pub and ends up summoning Archfiend, Lord of Annihilation instead of the hot-goth boyfriend she was trying to cook up. Let the hijinkx ensue!


Prince Jaysen fumbles his way into a trap that ultimately turns him into action figure avatar Colt Noble! Young Jaysen now has the ability to turn the tide against Archfiend's attacks and maybe a shot at the lovely Mareea if his still toxically infantile mind doesn't sabotage his new beefy looks.




This comic will not change your life. But it is damn funny, particulary whenever Archfiend is on stage. Double that when he's on stage with his summoner, Hoodoo. As usual, Seeley takes shots at a wide variety of targets including many of the cliched comic tropes he's steeped the book in. If you don't have a stick in your bum, you'll laugh at this comic. It reads like a Masters of the Universe movie written by the guys who did Porky's. How can you deny that?

I say even if it wasn't good, we owe it to Hack/Slash to funnel poor Tim Seeley some money, because DDP is in some financial straits and is now paying him in.....office space? That's cute and all, but Mr. Seeley needs money. But thing of it is...Colt Noble is good. Go buy this book, laugh a little, bask in a little guilty pleasure and reward a deserving talent instead of some "must read event" book that you're not really digging, would you, please?

- Ryan