Chronic Review: Superman Earth One!

Superman Earth One HC
DC Comics
Script: J. Michael Straczynski
Pencils: Shane Davis
136 pages for $19.99

This is an "Ultimate Superman" origin story, and a pretty darned good one. JMS has made no secret that tackling the Man of Steel has been a lifelong dream project for him, and if you weren't aware, he'll tell you himself in the "dedications" section at the front of the book.

In terms of plot, the action begins with a young (but adult) Clark Kent making an odyssey to Metropolis in order to carve out his own destiny. If you can do anything, be anything, how do you choose? Sometimes the only thing worse than being limited is to be forced to allocate an embarrassment of riches. When everything is available, it's difficult to choose from the list - and the opportunity costs are staggering. When one is capable of all, take the wrong path and what has the world lost?

Don't be alarmed, there is no intolerable emo whinging, or at least none that I could detect. But there is a sadness about him, and why wouldn't there be? He's alone in every meaningful way, and outing his true nature threatens to make him even more alone.

So the internal component is about how Clark will connect to the outside world, and how he finds a home at the Daily Planet with Lois, Jimmy, and Perry. The external component is a twist on his Kryptonian origins, and how trouble has followed him to his adopted home in the form of Tyrell.

He's a worthy adversary. Tyrell comes from a planet next door to Krypton. His technology and scientific knowledge are roughly equivalent to Krypton's, and the yellow sun bestows a similar power set.

Without ruining all of the plot points, it's Tyrell's job to wipe out all Kryptonians, and Clark is the last item to cross off the list. He's got a fleet behind him covering all of earth's major cities, and threatens to wipe out millions if Clark doesn't surrender to him. Hinjinx ensue!

Superman introduces himself to the world defending the planet from this global threat, getting by with a little help from his friends Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen. And that supporting cast is one of the strongest elements of the book. Jimmy in particular stands out as a complete nut job who will dare anything for his shots. Perry White is the consummate (and hilarious) old pro desperately trying to stay afloat in a world trying very hard to pass him by. And Lois is every bit the driven career woman (which most writers get right) that you could absolutely fall for. (most writers fail miserably here)

As a modern reboot, Superman Earth one is precariously next to perfect. Straczynski can be proud of the fact that he's created a contemporary origin story that conveys every important truth about the character and his world in a way that makes perfect intuitive sense. When you're done with Superman Earth One, you've got a clear indication of the character's values, motivations, and abilities. The costume is explained, his decision not to wear a mask is covered, and it makes emotional sense that Clark would choose the Daily Planet as his home when the story is finished.

There are a few items I could nitpick. Could Martha really unravel those indestructible Kryptonian blankets and weave them into an outfit? Probably not. Does it make sense for Tyrell to announce to the world that he'll likely just kill a few million of them and then move on if Superman doesn't show up? I can't imagine it. Even if that was the plan, you wouldn't say that. You'd threaten to kill everybody.

Sandra Lee and company come to some very odd conclusions about Clark's decision to dismantle those drills at the end. How does it follow exactly that he expects another visit from these jerkwads because he shuts the equipment down? Occam's Razor says they were a threat, he shut down the threat, end of story. And much like his work over on the regular Superman title, much of the "messiah" talk out of Superman's mouth falls flat.

"I am blinded by the light that burns inside every one of you?" No, that just doesn't land for me. I give Straczynski credit for having the brass balls to try it, though. Trying to put iconic words into Superman's mouth is almost like trying to write a sequel to the Gospels. Not for the feint of heart. So it's not a deal-breaker that these lines don't really work for me.

It's possible that the colors on this book are too washed out, but then again, this isn't a glitzy four-color punch fest. I guess it fits. Shane Davis is able to communicate a lot of reserved pain in Clark's face as well. I like the art in this book, and I enjoyed the format as well. This is about six issues worth of story in a hardcover format, and that comes out to about $3.33 an issue if you were to be purchasing this in floppy form. Not a bargain for a TPB, but forgivable in HC form. Of course I got mine from DCB Service for something just over $2 and issue's worth, and that is a bargain.

Don't know if DC's plan is to release more of this, and if they do, whether it will be in more hardcovers or floppies. Whatever form it comes in, I think it's a buy because this is right in Straczynski's wheelhouse and he's producing really nice work on this project.

- Ryan

The New Wonder Woman!

Wonder Woman # 600 hits stands tomorrow, and while I was correct in mentioning that this is Gail Simone's farewell performance, I was incorrect in stating that it's a hello for Grant Morrison. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation, I guess, since we've already reported the news that Morrison is still slated for a Wonder Woman story, but that it appears so bizarre that DC is unwilling to let it stand in continuity.

So who is taking over the mighty Diana? Why, none other than JM Straczynski, of course! Why not just give him Batman, too, he can have the whole DC trinity and they can start calling him Geoff Johns?

The picture above is Wonder Woman's new 21st century digs as redesigned by one Jim Lee. Call me a pig, but the pants gotta go. Actually, it isn't even so much the pants, but the fact that I can't tell where the pants stop and booties begin. Lee isn't going to be pencilling the book, so maybe that will end up being clear in the actual comic. Much appreciated is the new rings that will stencil a "W" in your face if she punches you. Now that I'm on board with!

So JMS talked about his re-boot with comic book resources and had some of the most brutally kind words about past caretakers I've ever heard:

"In terms of character, I decided to circle in to try and figure out what needed to be addressed and what didn't. Diana is one of the DC Trinity, and should be selling as many copies a month as those other guys. But the book hovers in the low 70s/high 80s, and for the last year or two has been hemorrhaging 500-1000 readers per month. That means that those who are reading are dialing out, and nobody new is checking it out. What this suggests is that the stories are becoming too insular, they're not accessible, and there's nothing going on that will get somebody who hasn't picked up an issue to do so.

This coincided with my sense that, as happens from time to time with characters, Diana had gotten buried beneath years of mythos, backstory, supporting characters and an environment that required a lot of familiarity from the reader that made it a bit inaccessible to casual readers. There's nothing inherently right or wrong with any of that, in sum or in pieces...Gail in particular was and is a terrific writer and did some great stories during her tenure...it's just a matter of one kind of storytelling that is designed to bring in new readers, vs one that is aimed at retaining the current readers. You need both of those at various points.

What I finally came away with was a sense of a character who had kind of ossified within the pages of her own book not through any fault of her own, but because the world she occupied had constricted around her. As I've noted elsewhere, she became this Ferrari that everybody kept in the garage rather than taking it out on the open road. A Ferrari in the garage is safe...but that's not what a Ferrari is for."

Couple of interesting items in there for me. I don't know how exact or how literally JMS is quoting his sales figures, but they seem mighty off to me. He seems to suggest that Wonder Woman sells between 75,000-80,000 copies, and that these numbers pale in comparison to Superman and Batman.

In point of fact, Wonder Woman sells less than 30,000 copies a month, at least according to what Diamond reports, which admittedly is an estimate, and admittedly isn't everything. But if you think Wonder Woman is selling more than double what Diamond is reporting, well, you're just fooling yourself. Over the past year, Wonder Woman has been "hemorrhaging" an average of 500 copies per month, so he's correct on that count.

Incidentally, JMS seems to believe that 80K is peanuts in comparison to Superman and Batman numbers....they wish! Batman & Robin is the top ongoing Batman seller, and that does hover around 100,000. But the regular Batman book hovers around 60,000.

And Superman? Forget about it! Superman can't get a sniff of 80,000, even as an event mini-series. You're looking at 40k tops for the Man of Steel. One of two things is happening here. Either the Diamond numbers aren't an accurate measure of comics sales at all, or Straczynski doesn't have a good grasp on the reality of today's market.

I think it's funny that in the middle of him quietly ripping the previous regimes to shreds, he throws in the fact that Gail Simone is a wonderful writer. You read between the lines, though, and he's pretty clear about the fact that Gail is wonderful writer who:

writes insular, inaccessible stories

write stories that don't attract new readers

"ossified" the character (made it rigid, translation: "dull")

created a world that restricted the character

turned Wonder Woman into a garaged Ferrari

Now...does that sound like a wonderful writer to you? Granted, he wasn't singling out Gail there, I guess you could say he took a giant crap on Greg Rucka and George Perez, too! But he sure didn't exclude her from any of that analysis, either.

Incidentally, I don't have a problem with JMS saying any of that. Those are his opinions, and there may be validity to some or all of them. The golden heyday of comics was the 1950s, when continuity wasn't even on the menu. You could pretty much pick up anything of the rack and dive right in.

By today's standards of sophistication, those stories were absolute childish rubbish. But they had the potential for mass appeal that most of today's comics do not. Hand an issue of Uncanny X-Men to a comics newbie. I dare you.

And that's largely what Straczynski is talking about, and it's not really Gail's fault. We are sort of stuck in this horrible place where if you avoid continuity, your inbred audience of 50,000 virgins shakes the pillars of the internet with rage. But what happens if you feed your base what they want, which is a deepening of the established traditions?( some of which now carry sixty or more YEARS of baggage) Now you've pretty much ostracized any new readership, because they have no interest in doing masters degree level continuity research so that they can pay $4 for 22 pages of funny book fantasy.

It is quite the conundrum, and it is solvable with something like Marvel's Ultimate Comics line....for awhile. The funny thing is, those titles have now accrued enough continuity that the cure has become another strain of the disease. Can you hand a newcomer a copy of Ultimate Spider-Man right now and expect them to swim? Really?

And that's the pickle we're in. Write to the last dying dinosaurs and watch yourself go extinct, or piss of your dinosaurs to try and lure in new readers who don't seem to exist and really implode. The solution of course is to introduce comics to folks who don't ordinarily read comics.

If only there were some other medium, like say, a house that showed moving pictures. Perhaps some of these moving pictures, we'll call them movies for short, actually featured some of these comic book characters, and then the movies would point those eyes toward a comic shop at some point. Ah, but that would only have a real impact if a large number of people went to see these "comic book movies".

Oh, wait. You mean Dark Knight did about half a billion at the box office? Oh, shit, guess we should have done something about that. Incidentally, when I went to see Jonah Hex, there was a lobby full of tiny kids in karate uniforms for a local Tae Kwon Do school advertising their services. Not one hint of a comic shop with Jonah Hex trades, though. Or Iron Man. It's absurd. The whole thing is patently absurd. But I digest.

Wonder Woman # 600 hits tomorrow, let's see what JMS does with his little Ferrari in sensible slacks....

- Ryan

Chronic Review: Superman # 700!

Superman # 700
DC Comics
Scripts: James Robinson, Dan Jurgens, JM Straczynski
Pencils: Bernard Chang, Jurgens/Rapmund, Eddy Barrows
42 pages for $4.99

Is it a bad sign when the best element your epic Superman launch by superstar JM Straczynski is a Robin story by Dan Jurgens?

Probably.

Superman # 700 is actually three different stories. The first is a disgustingly sappy little number where James Robinson chokes us to death with tired emotional cliches.

Clark's been away for awhile dealing with New Krypton stuff, and we get a peek the lovers' reunion. Maybe it's just my return to "Ryan the Robot" mode, but I doubt it. I'm not the problem. This is the problem:


We've heard all of this before from dime store novels and the Lifetime network. Didn't work for me then, doesn't work for me now. What is ultimately more disappointing about it is that these kind of scenes used to be in Robinson's wheelhouse in Starman. Interpersonal relationships were the life's blood of that book; always fresh, always interesting. I don't know what this is, but it's beneath James Robinson. NEXT!

The second installment is a Robin story by Dan Jurgens. Yeah, I know that Superman appears in the tale, and that this is Superman's book. This is a Robin story.

And it's a pretty darned good one. Batman decides that Bruce Wayne needs to make a public appearance to maintain the illusion, so he hangs up the cowl for the evening and tells Robin that he's to take the night off as well on pain of blood. He's instructed to do his geometry homework and relax.

Of course crime doesn't ever take a vacation, and when young Dick Grayson sees trouble brewing, he sneaks out of the house and bites off a little more than he can chew. Cue the man of steel for a quick save from the gun runners, and then cue him again to save his unfinished math homework!

That's right, folks, Superman helps Dick Grayson cheat on his school work. Awesome! That was worth the price of admission right there. The story ends with Batman sending Clark an adorable little "I know what you did" letter. This was an entertaining, done-in-one tale that reminded a little of Straczynski's Brave & The Bold. And that's a good thing.

Speaking of Straczynski, you may have heard something about him taking over Superman. Straczyinski's life long dream begins right here, with spotty results.

It's bee well spoiled at this point that his plan is to send Superman on a walkabout journey across America to re-connect with us normal folks. Kind of a ballsy idea, and not without some danger. In fact, Straczynski warned Didio and the DC brass that they would need " cojones the size of Stonehenge for any publisher to go along with this, because the odds of failure are freaking immense."

Telling more human and personal Superman stories isn't necessarily a bad idea, but it does a feel a little strange. He just got done spending a great deal of time away from his wife and Metropolis, and now he rushes out to leave it all behind and pull a Kwai Chang Kent? It feels false at first blush.

There's nothing inside this issue that would to alter that opinion, either. What massive epiphany sets Clark on his new wandering journey? Well, a grieving Stamford survivor....err...I mean, random woman off the street interrupts his press interview, cracks him across the grill like a pimp and then blames her husband's death on Superman's absence.

It's very weird. What's super extra weird is that Straczynski writes bystanders remarking on how bizarre her complaint really is. How is her husband's medical condition Clark's fault? He's busy saving the planet, a couple of guys with brain tumors are going to slip through the cracks, OK lady??

Rather than just recognize that bad things happen to good people and you can't possibly solve everyone's problem every time, this nonsense starts Clark soul searching about his role in the universe.

He talks to Batman, he talks to the Flash, he remembers some old chestnuts from Pa Kent. Again, maybe this is Ryan the Robot but I found nothing that felt emotionally correct in any of that stuff. It felt like an assembly line conveyor belt toward his "Superman does the Bill Bixby thing" goal he had in mind, come hell or high water.

Before I get accused of reactionary histrionics, it's possible that these wandering monk stories might end up being good. This is just set-up. What I'm saying is, the set-up feels false and poorly rendered. This is not a denouncement of the "grounded" concept, but neither is it a good omen. I'm going into these stories not buying into the motivation even a whisker, and that's hardly ideal.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing in the book is the very back end where DC allowed the other writers in the Superman family to pitch reader's the next year's worth of stories. Cornell's Action Comics pitch sounds pretty interesting, actually. Obviously some eyes are going to fall on this anniversary issue, and I think it was a sound marketing idea.

Bottom line? If you were expecting to be wowed by the new Superman, I think you're walking away disappointed. You've got two warm up acts with varying quality, but neither of which have anything to do with the bold new direction or will be remembered as key pieces of the mythos. The Straczynski material feels forced and emotionally off-key. Welcome the new era!

- Ryan

Chronic Capsule Reviews: Crap I Read Today!

Let me kick this off by saying that I WON'T be reading Secret Avengers, even though it seems to me that Brubaker's little shadow team is by far the most intriguing of the relaunched Avengers nonsense.

If this book were $2.99, I'd be all over it. But it isn't. I've been making far too many excuses about that lately, and it needs to stop. We simply can't afford (literally!) to reward this behavior. If the trend on trades continues, I won't be buying that either, regardless of how well it gets reviewed. Suggested retail on that collected Psylocke mini? If you thought the $3.99 on the floppies was bad, wait til you get a load of the $4.99 per issue they think it's worth in trade form. No. Nononononononononno you don't.

We're watching, Marvel. And we're pissed. Lots of people sitting at the breaking point, Mr. Buckley. We can live without that Psylocke book, trust me. Hell, the fact you're pushing us toward is that we can live without any of it. That's not a bitter threat any more, that's becoming the undeniable reality of it. We're at the breaking point. Tread carefully.

War of the Supermen # 4
Nothing much for me to rave about or complain about, I guess. I hadn't been reading the Superman books prior, so this is resolving issues that don't resonate as much for me. My sense is that if you went through the whole "New Krypton" stuff, this paid off fairly well.

There's nothing here that would compel me to pick up Superman from here on. I'm thinking about doing it simply because of the Straczynski factor. I'm really enjoying Brave & The Bold (more on that later) and I've been re-reading some Rising Stars, too. JMS is pretty good. So yay for him on Superman, his dream project.

Green Lantern # 54
This title has been on the cusp of the "drop zone" lately. It isn't that I feel it's a bad title. But there's a general feeling you carry around about each of the books on your pull, and inevitably certain books stop feeling like urgent reads and you start to wonder about them. If you're smart.

Thing is, every issue of Green Lantern tends to redeem itself upon closer inspection. I mean, in this issue that Red Lantern cat threw up on a bunch of people in a subway, and how can I deny that? There's no way. Every time that cat pukes rage blood on something, I'm in love all over again. Speaking of love, Sinestro has a delicious little one-liner he fires at Hal Jordan regarding his aching loins over Carol, too.

And that's the juice for me. I don't want to say that I can't care about the whole "sword in the stone" white lantern conundrum or the search for the missing "entities"...but I don't care, so I guess I'll say it. Green Lantern stays for now. Next!

Brave & The Bold # 34
The previous issue may end up being the best comic of 2010. It's certainly # 1 in my heart right now. I guess no system is perfect, but this is such a classic example of how broken the system is, and how quality never quite seems to translate into sales. And that, folks, is what is KILLING the industry.

Because there's no "Brightest Day" banner or some event connection, the rotating cast pretty much demands that nobody buys this title. And it's awesome. Every month, it's quality story after quality story. Straczynski takes full advantage of the freedom inherent in a "what if" type framework and just runs wild with interesting crap.

This month the Legion runs into a problem - primordial black hole make Earth go bye-bye. Now THAT'S a problem! Do you see how fun this stuff gets? Lightning Lad concocts a scheme to go back in time and fix that, and he needs the Doom Patrol's help to do it. And here's where it gets really weird, folks. Straczynski sets it up in the story so that internally it makes sense to need Negative Man! Revolutionary!

Now, JMS has been teasing for months that he's going to do something funky with the title that should make it a "Top 10" selling comic. Something feels slightly awry at the end of this issue, and I think that the ramifications of saving Earth are going to open up that can of worms next issue. Something from the future or another dimension, I don't know. But I think we'll see the ace Straczynski's been holding up his sleeve next month. Yay!

Fantastic Four # 579
As usual, so much to say about this comic, and I'm not sure this little blog entry is really the place to get into all of it, but here goes.

With what went on in # 578, this is a real button-hook. Last issue ramped up the stakes to Factor 11, and then this issue behaves as though none of that Inhumans stuff ever happened. It's a "breather" issue, if you will.

First of all, I don't want to say that Neil Edward's art sucks, but it sure gives a strong inhale. Eaglesham is missed, and that's a fact. Reed gives a speech about the future at the Singularity conference, and basically tells everyone (except She-Hulk) that they're old people with no vision, and he's bowing out of the group.

It's an interesting case he makes, and (as usual) an interesting path to explore. I happen to not agree with much of what Reed believes. He sees expansion as inevitable and hopeful, touting
"one trillion human beings spanning an entire galaxy." To me, that's not a message of hope. I believe in quality, not quantity. If you really liked the galaxy, you wouldn't be spreading people as we know them about it. That's littering.

But Reed is more optimistic than I, so it makes sense in that regard. His response is interesting, daring, and quite in keeping with the "Heroic Age" of optimism. He ditches the stagnant old white dudes and sets up his own think-tank with his children, the moloid kids, Artie, and Alex Power. There's your new Future Foundation!

Hickman spends a lot of time acknowledging plot threads in scattershot form. (Nu-World, Sue as ambassador, the Wizard) There's a TON of balls in the air right now, and Hickman is basically letting you know that he knows this stuff is out there. And all of it is entertaining. All of it.

Does it feel weird to me that the Inhumans stuff just went "poof"? Yup. Was it a bad issue? By no means. This is still the must read Marvel book of the lot, hands downs.

Tales of the Dragon Guard # 3
This was the best comic I read today. The super sad part is that it concludes the series. Are there more Tales of the Dragon Guard out there? I don't know. For all I know, there are reams of this stuff in France as I type. But I'll never get to see it, because the sales figures will not have Marvel ordering more of this, I wouldn't think.

And what a shame. There's a little box in the bottom right-hand corner of the comic that says "mature content", and for once that's accurate. Dragon Guard is a hokey little hook about half-dressed virgins killing big lizards, except it dresses itself in poignant characters, and gripping drama.

Wherever these dragons set up camp, they cast of field of corruption called "The Veil". It taints the people inside of it like a disease, and to watch the progression is always a trip. I'm really going to miss this book. A lot.

- Ryan

Chronic Reviews: An Assload

I have a whole pile of books I've collected over the past few weeks just itching to get talked about. I can't go in depth with the whole lot, it would take too long. I'm not Ethan Van Sciver here, folks. I can't pull out four whole pages of material in a week. Sorry.

Instead I present you with a veritable assload of teeny tiny reviews which shall serve no purpose other than to give me an excuse to say mean things about people who are simply trying to entertain me. So let's do it....hut! hut! hut!

Cloak & Dagger (one shot)
Marvel Comics
(W)Stuart Moore/(P)Mark Brooks

These characters continue to languish in re-boot hell. They've tried mini-series, multiple ongoings, and there seems to be something that behaves like an engram with these two, because now matter how much the books SUCK, they continue to tantalize.

There is nothing in this one-shot that begs for the story to continue, that's for sure. This is baseline "woe is me, I'm different" nonsense with a trace of "jungle fever" thrown in for good measure.

Here's what needs to happen. These characters are more than 20 years old now - they can grow up a little bit. Give them a province or a mission, and make them viable adults proficient at what they do. Forget the muddied origin story. (which they backtracked on again in this issue) Make them strong people with something interesting to do.

My take? Cloak at his best dips into the darkforce dimension and just knows shit that other people don't. Give them an invasion force that only Cloak can detect, kind of like "They Live". Hickman just brought the Dire Wraiths back in FF # 577, why not them? Now Cloak & Dagger can be fugitive heroes running around whacking important people in the community who are actually wraiths in disguise.

It's perfect! I just made you $300,000 between the kick-ass ongoing series and the hit Cloak & Dagger movie it would spawn. You're welcome, Marvel. All I ask in return is that you only charge me $2.99 per issue, and you get Paul Jenkins to write it. Next!

Blackest Night # 8
DC Comics
(W)Geoff Johns/(P) Ivan Reiss

I've been back and forth on this whole thing way too many times. At first I was very much in love, sometimes I think the whole spectrum thing got too complex and too silly, then we'd get some really nice character moments in the midst of the chaos and I was back in.

A few notes on this issue. Like every "event" book these days, so many of the beats are just boiler-plate, obligatory, and BORING. Did I sort of enjoy the little Hawkman/Shiera moment that you could see coming from Tucson? Yeah, I guess I did.

Did I feel anything for the Martian Manhunter or Aquaman coming back? Nah. Did I feel inspired by the mandatory super splash pages of DCs biggest hitters in white costumes fightin' together for truth, justice, and LIFE ITSELF?? (Dun! Dun! DUUNNNN!) No, not really.

Maybe I'm just jaded at this point. Maybe there's some kid out there who hasn't read every event book since they began with Secret Wars (sorry Contest of Champions, you don't count) and thinks this is the feline's sleepwear. I aint that kid, and this sort of wrap-up with all these neat moments reads dangerously close to fan fiction. When I got done with this, it didn't even feel like the completion of a story. It felt like the launch of 13 new spin-offs and ongoings. I want a story, not a marketing ploy.

I don't want to give you the impression that I hated the book or the series, because I did not. I'm sticking with the regular Green Lantern title, which frankly had better moments than Blackest Night proper. But something felt a little empty inside the kaboom on this finale.

Hack/Slash # 30
Devil's Due Comics (for now)
(W)Tim Seeley/(P) Daniel Leister

One of the things I like about this book now is that it has enough history to reference itself and develop things and add depth. It would be off base to say that Hack/Slash takes itself seriously, because it treats nothing reverently, which is a good thing. What I'm saying is that this is not just a series of one-offs poking fun at the next beloved B-Movie on the list. Seeley has enough plot points in the bank where Cassie and Vlad live in their own created universe, and that's kinda neat, actually.

This is not the greatest issue of the series. I like Samhain, and I like the Black Lamp conspiracy, but this is not super juicy to me. One page made this more than worthwhile for me. The book shines in the quiet moments when Vlad and Cassie get to actually share their friendship. This issue featured Vlad sharing an anthropological experiment he's conducting, and a little window artwork. That was worth the $3.50 right there, and there are always laugh out loud moments in this book.

X-Factor # 203
Marvel Comics
(W)Peter David/(P)Valentine De Landro

Before I get to the story, let me bitch about the art very quickly. I'm not going to complain about Valentine De Landro, I like him just fine, and he's the closest thing we've had to a regular penciller. But that's just it - there never has been a regular penciller on X-Factor, and I don't get it. Does nobody want to work with Peter David? Doesn't sound right. Are people unwilling to draw X-Books? That really doesn't sound right. The closest thing we've had to a "name brand" was Ryan Sook as well. What's up with that? But I digest.

We used to rant and hoot and holler about X-Factor once a week on Chronic, and don't talk about it much any more. Don't be fooled for a moment into thinking the book is any less good, though. Right now I have three ongoings that I eagerly anticipate and can't wait to get home and crack: Hickman's Fantastic Four, Simone's Secret Six, and yes, David's X-Factor.

The results are in and Peter David has "failed". Sales did not double, this is not a top 10 selling title. The fault does not lie at the feet of Mr. David, however. He kicked seven shades of ass and we're so buried in glop that nobody notices quality any more. This is another reason why we need to engage in "winnowing", so that we have less noise to distract from the quality that does abound if you're diligent or lucky enough to stumble upon it. But I digest. Again.

This is sort of a Guido issue, and I'm fine with that, because the guy is hilarious. Always. It also features Monet in a more vulnerable spot than we're used to. Plus, it looks like we may get to see Guido and Monet together in ways that we're not used to. Ways that should be really goddamn entertaining to watch, which is pretty much how X-Factor works. If you're missing this title, you're missing a lot. Truth in advertising? You will need the backstory in order to be in on everything. Go back to the beginning of this iteration and you'll be fine, trust me.

American Vampire # 1
DC/Vertigo Comics
(W)Scott Snyder & Stephen King/(P) Rafael Albuquerque

I was anticipating this one quite a bit, mostly for the original King material. You can hardly go wrong with Vertigo, though, which is a testament to the very much underrated Karen Berger.

This is an anthology series; Snyder gets the first half and focuses on a couple of would-be starlets who are visited by a mysterious stranger and may be biting off more than they can chew with their potential big break. King gets the second half and relates the tale of a dangerous criminal being transported by Pinkertons. Yes, there are vampires involved in both stories; both are interested in making you guess about who might be fangified or not.

These are both cute little vignettes, and in fact the thing that surprised me the most is that I might like Snyder's better. Nothing wrong with either end of the book, but neither am I super inspired to continue with it, either. Certainly not if they continue with the $3.99 price point. Stephen King fans and vampire fans, come on board! Unless you really can't stand period pieces, since both stories take place in the 1920s. (and seem like they might even dovetail together down the line)

Siege # 3
Marvel Comics
(W)Brian Bendis/(P) Olivier Coipel

I've been very public and very vocal about how much I despise Siege, and I was pretty much done with it after the second issue. But then I got to talking with Remy over at Where Monsters Dwell about this third issue, and he basically lost his ever-lovin' mind over the damn thing.

And then when I went to go find it at two of my local comic shops, there were no copies available. Hmmmm. Now I simply HAD to have it. So I ordered it from Lone Star and went for a third dose of Event Cancer.

Look, I'm not going to say I really like Siege. I just don't. It still has all the symptoms of Eventitis, in which it reads not as a story, per se, but as a very transparent marketing ploy that says all the same things we've been hearing in every other event book that has been pounded into us incessantly for the past...what...four years now? Big doings. Never the same. Everything changes here. BOOOOOOOM!

I'll say two nice things about Siege. 1) It isn't just marking time. This is an efficient title. Four issues, not seven or eight. There is a point, and Bendis is getting to it. Bravo.

2) You are definitely getting your fill of "big moments". If for some reason you are stupid enough to actually believe that any of this matters now, or that any of it will have ripples we'll feel even six months from now, than by all means enjoy your Epic Happenings, because they abound in Siege. Norman Osborne is gettin' his. He's wigging out. The Sentry is flexing his 1,000 sun explodey-type muscles. Entire kingdoms are looking like they're headed for the scratch-n-dent clearance bin.

It's all happening. Sort of. It's just, the other crap is too fresh in my mind. Remember Spider-Man: The Other? Yeah. Ever see anything that would lead you to believe that ever happened? Nah, me either. How about Civil War? Ever see folks hunting down fugitive heroes, or training to become certified, or putting people in the Negative Zone? You neither? Huh. That's weird.

Listen, if you're enjoying this, God bless you, ya little buggers. I'm glad you aren't jaded like the former Manatee. None of these explosions mean anything to me. The reader's investment is entirely predicated on their investment in the shared cohesive universe and the ramifications of mucking with that. There will be none. If you're stupid enough to believe there will be, you deserve your fate.

There will be a new "event" when this one dies that will not care one whit about Siege, and when sales on the ongoing books inevitably matriculate down a notch - guess what? It's reboot time!!!! Get ready to forget everything you ever knew about (insert name here) because now it's changing forever! And this time we mean it! Yawn.

Supergod # 3
Avatar Comics
(W)Warren Ellis/(P)Garrie Gastonny

Maybe I just don't have my thumb on the pulse...but my sense is that Warren's star has fallen a little bit. I remember when Mike & I first started recording Chronic in the summer of 2007, it was quite literally "The Summer of Ellis". He was everywhere, scowling, demanding attention. He had a novel come out, he was as big a name as comics had, and he was bigger than comics.

And that seems not to be the case any more. Nobody talks about that novel. Black Summer came and went, and I can't remember the last time we saw an issue of Doktor Sleepless. The Thunderbolts thing had some initial buzz, but that's over with. "Do Anything" is not a must-read column, I don't think.

The thing of it is, Warren is still Warren. Is that maybe the problem? Is his style and voice so distinctive at this point that we've already read all we need to? I sometimes wonder if the last vestige of us die-hard comic fans feel that way.

We're probably wrong about that, by the way, and the proof is in Supergod. Listen folks, Warren is still here, one half wide-eyed wondering child, one half sneering but wicked smart bastard.

Supergod is packed with wild epic ideas about real power, how governments feel about power, and of course there's some theology involved as well. Our narrator gets lectured by fungus god Morrigan Lugus in an absolute must-read bit. Is it soap box pontificating? Of course it is. This is what we pay (way too much) for when we buy a Warren Ellis comic book.

He's thought out the politics, the technology, and the social ramifications of a Supergod arms race. It's fun, it's intriguing, and you just can't get this anywhere else. Yes, our narrator sounds an awful lot like every other Warren Ellis character you've ever read in your life. Fuck that, who cares? It's a really good character, isn't it? The guy has a conversation with a Supergod twenty years in the past! You have to read it like three times to figure out what the hell is going on, because the idea is so fresh (at least it was to me) that you can't process it at first.

I do wish the goddamn thing didn't cost $3.99, but if I'm going to spend it...I'm spending it on stuff like this. "Morrigan Lugus was quite pleased, too. I should have been more worried about that." Are you kidding me? Long live Warren!

Brave & The Bold # 32
DC Comics
(W) JM Straczynski/(P)Jesus Saiz

JMS claims he's going to turn the world upside down and make it a top 10 book later in the year, and until then I'm just going to enjoy this book while it's good. Ideally books like this and Marvel's "What If" should be the height of entertainment. They're not bound particularly by continuity, you can mix-and-match anything you want, the sky is the limit! Of course ordinarily these things are yawners of the highest order, or hit-and-miss at best. JMS seems to be bringing it every month.

This month the pairing is Aquaman and The Demon, very odd to be sure. It fits with the premise though, which is very Lovecraftian and epic. If there's a weakness in the story, it's the constant transparent reminders about what a bad ass Aquaman is. OK, OK, we get it. We don't appreciate the guy enough! Jeez.

Outside of that, this is pretty entertaining. When you get done with this issue, you feel like you've been let in on a secret, something behind-the-scenes, and that's an element that a book like B&B should be using. Hey, go crazy, man!

I'm almost afraid now to get to the end of the year and have this little party ruined by the "bid doings". I'm so tired of that I could spew. Why can't we be satisfied with things that are actually interesting? I guess the answer is that 100,000 people will read whatever nonsense is thrown out there with an event banner on the cover, and only me and 14 other people read this issue.

Is it DCs fault? The retailers? I know DC doesn't really promote the title, even though they have a heavy hitter at the reins. I don't know about you, but I've never been directed to quality books at my LCS, other than little cards with so-and-sos "pick of the week". Of course not knowing how many times so-and-so has been in rehab or dropped as a child, it's difficult to know how much stock to put in such recommendations.

Bottom line, this is a really good title that nobody will ever know about until JMS starts throwing it into heavy continuity and probably ruins it. Awesome!