Entropy Week: Crossed Family Values # 3!

Crossed: Family Values # 3
Avatar Comics
Script: David Lapham
Pencils: Javier Barreno
22 pages for $3.99

This is the worst thing I have ever seen or read in any medium. By worst I don't mean to say that it lacks quality. What I mean is that the things that happen between the covers of Crossed: Family Values # 3 are so deplorable and handled so bluntly that it is difficult to finish the book.

Now that's entertainment!

You feel wrong reading the damn thing, you feel wrong recognizing that yes, this accurately depicts the worst of the human condition, and you feel sort of bad for David Lapham for carrying these things around inside of him. Maybe you fear for his wife and children a little, if he has such things. I'm sure they're fine. But you might wonder any way.

If Wertham had brought Crossed (penned by Ennis or Lapham) to those Senate subcomittee hearings, we wouldn't have ended up with a Comics Code Authority. Everyone in the biz would have been executed. That's how bad (or good?) this comic is.

Because the thing is, as gruesome as the old EC comics were, and by golly they were gruesome, there was always a sense of fun behind them. The stories were bookended with playful ghouls who told really bad jokes and sort of winked at you - they popped the tension balloon a little bit. Reminded you that in the end, it was all a goof, a diversion.

There is no such safety net in Crossed. I take that back. There is a tiny little scene in this issue where one of the Crossed plays with poop. Adorable. Plus, poop is always funny, unless you find it in your pillowcase. Actually, it's still funny then, for everyone except the owner of said pillowcase.

But the rest of it? The horror is dark, it is deep, and it punches your balls into your throat. This is not a good issue to be a fetus, I must say. Not good at all. Not good to be an infant, either, really. If you take the time to scour this splash page carefully, (and why not get your money's worth?) somebody has decided that it wasn't good enough to simply throw this baby out of the window. That's for amateurs. If you want to do it right, you have to light the child on fire first, and chuck it like an IRA member with Molatoddler Cocktail.

Motherhood, childhood, religion, friendship, family, honor, faith, hope....forget about all of that. Well, that's not exactly true. Addy still perseveres, so a speck of hope is still on the table. Every other sacred cow gets savaged by the end of this issue, but frankly doesn't it feel like we deserve it?

I just don't think this could have existed twenty years ago. We thought that Faust was edgy horror. And it kind of is. This book makes Faust look like George Michael during his Wham days. We used to think Motley Crue represented Satan. Bullshit. They represented alcoholism, faux rebellion, and getting laid.

This is horror pure. What does it say about us that we are now finally ready for it? It's scary, you want my opinion.

I suppose a case could be made that I'm indulging in hyperbole. I surely do hope that is the case. I certainly have a history of it. But the fact that Crossed exists, and that it says something that connects should honestly make one's arsehole shrink up a bit. We're in trouble as a species.

If it sounds like I'm condemning the comic, please be advised that you've got me all wrong. There is truth here. Not "the" truth, whatever that is, but a sliver of something that rings correctly about where human beings are at, and what we expect from each other. I'm all for truth, no matter how bitter the taste. If it says something accurately, and I believe that Crossed does, then we bloody well ought to bend an ear, as far as we're able.

Some will say that this is not a message book, just an exercise in shock for the sake of being shocking. I think that's a dangerously infantile simplification. Even if you limited it to shock value though, this is the Rolls Royce of shock books. Respect it for being the best of its kingdom, even if you don't like the real estate, I say.

Crossed is not for everybody, but it is sublime in its depravity. We earned it, we got it. God help us.

- Ryan

Chronic Review: Crossed Family Values # 1

Crossed: Family Values # 1
Avatar Comics
Script: David Lapham
Pencils: Javier Barreno
22 brutal pages for $3.99


It's possible to consider Crossed: Family Values and come to the conclusion that this is the easiest turn-key property in the world to take over. You grab a couple of stock victims, add copious amounts of infected Crossed, then serve with rape and murder. Easy, right?

Incorrect. If that's all you got out of Garth Ennis' volume one of Crossed, you missed a bunch of stuff, actually. What you most sorely missed was the blurring between these infected "monsters" and Joe from the block. They really aren't that different, given the right environment. That's the scary truth of series one.

If you want to do a Crossed book correctly, it isn't enough to shock. You must shock, of course, but there has to be something deeper to cling to. Eventually any stimulus loses its potency if you go to the well too often, even depravity. The other potential pitfall for a book like Crossed is that if you don't layer it with something humane or elevated, you start to endorse or celebrate the filth inside. It's supposed to make you want to throw up, folks.



My point is that David Lapham had a more difficult tight wire to walk than you might imagine. Water it down, and your core audience wants to know where the anal rape with a wire brush went. Succumb to base shock value only, and you're writing an advert for torture porn. Neither really works.

I'm very pleased but not surprised to inform you that Lapham took the torch from Ennis without a hitch and done us all proud. This is filthy, aggressive, difficult to get through in spots horror book with a worthy theme. In the first volume, Garth Ennis showed us the depths of human evil and told us a story about what it takes to survive it. In Crossed: Family Values, David Lapham appears to be showing us the costs of defying that evil.

It isn't easy to do, of course. Edmund Burke taught us that all evil needs to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Then Stanley Milgram taught us that nothing is exactly what good men do in the face of evil. Of his original 40 test subjects, only one refused to hand out dangerous/lethal electrical shocks to their memory test partner. Scary, huh?

There are the Crossed in this issue, to be sure, coming in waves and as disgusting as ever. But the real evil in this six issue mini appears to be the father of the Pratt family. He's been doling out all flavors of abuse to his family for years, and just as those sins appear to be coming home to roost...the Crossed show up.

Pratt's daughter Addy is the gateway character. We're getting to know her and the Pratt family better than we did Stan and the rest of the gang from volume one. One of the departures Lapham is making from Ennis is more emotional investment in the characters, which should pay off handsomely when the inevitable and the unthinkable does happen to these people. This is not a hodge-podge collection of strangers, either. We're now dealing with a church-going family of horse ranchers from sleepy North Carolina.



Addy has an awful choice to make. It's difficult enough to break out of traditional roles and challenge an abusive father. The family is now in a position where this regular monster is about the only thing standing between them and a horde of Crossed monsters. Do you choose the devil you know? Can you take the stand when you "need" your abuser?

These are difficult subjects to broach, and I suspect Lapham will continue to handle them with courage and intelligence. I considered Crossed volume one to be one of the most important books of 2009 because of its unflinching look into human nature. Family Values may be even more important, and a worthy successor to the original.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is not a Lifetime movie of the week. Crossed has been, and still remains that most brutal horror book I've ever picked up. I have a high tolerance for gore and all things taboo. This book gets to me. Once infected, the Crossed become distilled evil, and their entire existence becomes fully dedicated to hurting those around them. Any contact with blood, saliva, or any other bodily juices gets you into the club right quick. After that, it isn't enough to kill and dismember, although trust me, they'll get to that. First, they're going to try and make you feel as much psychological pain as possible.

Crossed is unique, high caliber horror. If you're a fan of that genre, Family Values is an absolute must read. Dave Lapham is proving to be a perfect fit for the concept, and the only place I can complain at all is on price point, as usual.

- Ryan