Saturday, May 9, 2009

Star Trek Energizes My Loins

I just went to see Star Trek and it was AMAZING. I am not sure what that fat fuck Roger Ebert was talking about, but it was fucking great. So what if they didn't transport down to the drilling platform, I thought it was pretty obvious they couldn't and also wouldn't want to since they would surely have been detected. Roger Ebert is a failing movie critic with one foot in the stroke grave and needs this type of attention to help boost his ego.

Check out my fat bloated ass standing underneath the sign that says I am going to see the Star Trek movie at 9:55pm. Am I a total Geek, well yes I am and thank you very much for noticing. I have been laid in the past week and I am a total Star Trek Geek. So what if I was the only non-virgin in the theater, that doesn't make it bad movie. On the contrary, it blew my fucking mind.

It's not the best movie ever made, I leave that distinguishing honor to "Waterworld", it isn't even the best Sci-Fi movie ever made, I leave that gold medal to "Puma Man", but it is far and away the BEST Star Trek movie ever made.

Every character is done in a way that honors what we already know about them and yet creates new and wonderful ideas for futures movies. Simon Pegg as Scotty was fucking brilliant and believe it or not, Zachary Quinto does a fantastic job as Spock. Chris Pine as Kirk was my favorite character though, he really pulled it off.

The movie is full of intense action, humor (yes I said humor and in a very tactful way) and GREAT special effects. Oh yeah the sound was amazing and I even felt a lump in my throat when Kirks father dies (oh shit was that a spoiler?). I won't give away anything else since I hate spoilers myself.

Ignore that fat fuck Roger Ebert and go and see this incredible action adventure and if you're a Star Trek fan run to see this movie.

I give this movie a solid A. As one half of the Chronic Crew I give it my seal of approval. Check out this weeks show, it's going to be our Star Trek special show, I'm sure we'll get into the movie in more detail.

Sorry it's late, I sound like a sixth grader, which is just a tad bit worse than my normal eighth grade mentality. Mike sleep now...

Michael

1 comment:

DisasterPiece73 said...

Hey Mike,

Great review. I totally agree with you about Roger Ebert. That movie was fantastic, and so is your write-up about it. I like your style, man.

Live long and prosper,

Danyiel