Saturday, April 5, 2008

The $4 Anal Invasion

How can Marvel give us a "Summer Blockbuster" for $3.99? Well let me tell you how; because they know we'll bend over and take it in the ass for $4 and ask for 7 more issues. I think at this point it is besides the point if it's even any good. It could be the best fucking story ever written and still not be worth four goddamn dollars. Lets do the math on this one. 4 x 8 = $32 for the entire run as it comes out. Or if you're smart and you have some patience just wait for the trade sometime near the end of 2008.

So is it worth $4, well the short answer is HELL NO! No comic is worth $4 in my mind, but this one even falls short if it were $3. It's not even a high quality book for $4. The story is pretty simple. Iron Man starts off by saying that just about anybody could be a Skrull. Whoa stop the press, is that something new to us, not really, well actually even to this wheelchair comic book collector that was pretty obvious. We all know the basic story line and yet we seem to gobble this stuff up every time Marvel sets it out for us.

Are we whores for buying whatever crap they feed us? I don't think so actually. When we are given nothing else to read, we will scramble for whatever they give us. "One More Day" is terrible and not knowing what is going on in the DC universe I wouldn't know what I was missing over there.

I did read Civil War, however as a trade paperback, and I thought it was excellent except for the ending. I thought that it seemed rushed and was sort of a cop out at the end. Captain America suddenly realizing he was all wrong within the span of thirty seconds left me scratching my balls and wondering what Mark Miller was thinking. Lets hope that Brian Michael Bendis doesn't cheapen up the ending an piss off everyone who paid $4 an issue for the entire run.

I know it might seem like I am focusing on the price of the comic itself, but as a collector I think that is a major concern considering each time they raise the prices they should know we are still spending the same amount of money each week or month. What the majority of the collectors do is take their alloted funds and just buy fewer comics. Which in the long run will kill off the underselling books like "The Order" and keep the highly promoted garbage like "Secret Invasion" on the shelves.

All in all if you like the idea of Skrulls and the humdrum simple tension of who might be a Skrull, then this comic is for you. If you like good dialog and a great original story, then buy "Pax Romana" ($3.50 only a partial anal rape) or "The Boys" ($2.99 which is a high quality blowjob in comparison).

Artwork - 2.5 stars. Nothing special at all. At times it was hard for me to tell who was who and with Reed Richards I would think it would be easy to capture his image and make it obvious.
Storyline - 2 stars. We all know the whole story already basically, the only thing up in the air for the next 7 issues is; who's a fucking Skrull?

If you like spending $4 on a very sub par comic book then go out and get this. You should at least wait for the trade paperback. That way you can avoid 7 pages of advertisements per issue. Let's do the math on that 7 x 8 = 56, holy shit, 56 pages of ads, how can it be so expensive then? I'll tell you why, cause they know we'll pay for it.


No comments: