An Emotionally Compromised Ending To Chronic Insomnia!

I just uploaded the final issue of Chronic Insomnia.  The studio is dark.  The mics are off and the chairs are cooling from the heat of our fine asses.  It's a sad moment in my life.  Five years of podcasting and it comes down to tonight.  It's been ten days since the big reveal and I know it seems that I've been distant but it's been emotional for me.  I was unequipped emotionally to respond to the love that came forth after Ryan's blog entry last week.  I was amazed, overwhelmed and shocked at the impact our little show has had on all of you.  I am humbled and emotionally torn asunder.  

The last five years of doing the show have been some of the most creative years of my life.  Ryan and I have been recording into microphones for many years off and on, but this was something different.  This was creative on a consistent basis.  We also laughed A LOT!  Week in and week out we boiled our brains in semen and spit electrolytes to the airwaves.  I was doing a show with my best friend once a week, are you kidding me, it was the time of my life.  I know that Ryan knows this in the back of his mind but I want to thank him for all the years of laughter and creativity.  It's been a wild ride and there is no one I would have rather done this with.  We strapped on the hiking boots of comics podcasting and walked up the path together.  For good or bad, mostly great, we were ourselves and we laughed together.  For me that was the best part of the show.  The show was Ryan and I, and we put ourselves out there and a very small group of you loved us for that.  I can't express how much that humbles me.  To be part of something this big in my life for so long was an honor and a privilege.  

I am damn proud of Chronic Insomnia.  I thought our show sounded, audio wise, as good or better than anything out there.  Ryan and I laced the show with bits, drops, fake commercials and original songs and I don't know of another show with our unpredictability.  I will take credit for a little of that.  I was the insane one.  The one that came from left field with the craziest shit.  Ryan is the one that made it work.  However crazy my idea was, he would smile and help me figure out how to make it understandable to humans.  Since we had humans listening to the show, that was probably a good thing.  I applaud him for putting up with my crap over the last five years, and more importantly the last 30 years.  It's been since 1983, that first recording with all the "Crossbows and Catapult" pieces flying everywhere, since we started this audio madness and I hope at least in some way it never ends.  

I'm not saying that Ryan isn't crazy, he's fucking nuts at times, but he's crazy in a normal way.  Ryan is a sophisticated lover and a silver track suit wearing, kate beckinsale banging', magenta hair lovin' grey templed ass-man.  That's Ryan Lee in a sentence and he's also my best friend.  

You all need to know that Chronic Insomnia was mostly Ryan.  He did all the research and most of the work.  Definitely most of the writing.  I just don't have the chops like he does.  He's wicked smart and he really carried me along throughout the years.  I'm not saying I didn't do anything, but what I did could be trained into any monkey with a mouse pad and an itchy finger.  What Ryan did was infuse our absurd show with intelligence and sophistication.  He legitimized us.  I wanted to do more fart and dick jokes but Ryan could sense the limit of vulgarity we needed and held me fast to it.   I am glad he did, otherwise we'd have failed miserably.  

In the end Chronic Insomnia is something I will cherish until I die, as I cherish all of you reading this.  Chronic Insomnia you have been a friend and confidant and I hate to let you go, but I think it's time we pack up our microphones and ride off into the sunset. (who am I kidding, I'm going to walk off into the graffiti filled city that God forgot).  Ryan's got some Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi waiting for me and I don't want to be late.  I think we're going to watch "Fletch" for the 50th time and perhaps talk longingly about our five year run.  Ryan, we've got enough "inside jokes" between the two of us to keep us in stitches for a while.   I'm looking forward to more laughter together in whatever we do.  

Don't fret my friends, you might see us again sometime, the sun hasn't gone down on us completely, we're still kicking around in the dust.  If you listen closely to the wind you can still hear us laughing….