Super important things I learned this week:
Kate Beckinsale is a global treasure. It isn't just the fact that she's the sexiest woman within several light years, although that helps. I was watching Nothing But The Truth last night, she plays a reporter who goes to jail rather than reveal her source. So goddamn Ross from Friends shows up, because he plays her husband. He sucks a great deal.
Ross also brings their son to visit, and there's a scene where Beckinsale is cutting seamlessly between anger at her husband, panic at her general predicament, and affection toward her son. I will never be able to do that. Not if you gave me twenty years to practice and thirty takes. She does that ridiculous "heart" thing with her hands, which ordinarily makes me want to kick baby seals, just to balance the cosmic scales. In this case it broke my robotic heart. Absolutely incredible. The movie is OK, too.
Speaking of movies, Drive Angry is about 7,000 times smarter than anybody gave it credit for. I was expecting something in the over-the-top vein of Shoot-Em-Up, and there are similarities. Both films know their genre, and spend equal time adoring and giving the middle finger to the conventions.
But really, Drive Angry is more like this year's Jennifer's Body. A little smug and self-aware about how clever it is, but also genuinely clever, which makes the smugness a little more palatable. And like JB, Drive Angry defeats expectations often and in the most satisfying ways.
Amber Heard plays Piper, the sexy sidekick ass kicker. She doesn't fall for the lead, at least not sexually. She's obviously not great in relationships, but does cut the asshole in the beginning of the film loose. She's not a prude, and she's not a whore. As a free agent, she picks up a guy at the bar and makes him paint her nails. I defy you to find another movie that takes a female character seriously and lets her do that.
Oh, and William Fichtner is a genius playing The Accountant, another character that defies everything cliche. Nic Cage, as you would expect, is exceptionally terrible. Like, John Malkovich in Jonah Hex terrible. But that movie is bad ass.
I eat lunch at work standing up. There are chairs available, and two desks. I use these chairs and desks to conduct business, but feel compelled to stand up while eating my Chipotle from on top of the office filing cabinet. I have no idea why I do this.
DC is running around these United States in a travelling road show, visiting retailers and selling them on the benefits of dumping fifty two titles they have no clue how to order on them. Apparently, the Burbank group got a little rowdy, since a good portion of the program consists of Dan DiDio reading Previews solicitation copy for hours. Jim Lee had to save him from a mob of torchers and pitchforkers.
The show is either getting snappier, or Baltimore is just more civil, because that show apparently received DCs pitch favorably.
I've been cautiously optimistic about the DCnU, but learning that Action Comics is going to be $3.99 bothers me. Other than Justice League, that's got to be the book in the reboolaunch to pick up. Grant Morrison on Superman, done deal! DC has left a lot of easy short-term money on the table, why go through all that pain and make an exception there? I just don't get it.
I'm very pleased, though, to learn that DC is planning on running real time comic news on Cartoon Network. Folks are even talking about adding ticker-style updates for local shops to supplement the DC national push. This is good news. VERY good news. I still strongly believe in the monthly periodical and kinda sorta still believe in the direct market. When people are exposed to comics, they buy them and love them. Just ask Archie and their 200,000+ circulation stats.
I really miss Nextwave. What's it been now, four or five years? That book has left a smart-assy hole that nothing else seems able to fill. The closest you'll find now to that irreverent love letter energy is Butcher Baker. I love Butcher...but it still isn't as much fun to me as Nextwave, which made you laugh really hard and then tried to twist your nipple off when your guard was down. Warren Ellis. What a fantastic dick that guy is!
Speaking of Warren, I guess G4 is almost ready to unleash those anime Marvel projects on us. Looks like Wolverine and Iron Man will be hitting the small screen on July 29. I did enjoy those GI Joe shorts that Ellis did, and I'm anticipating the Marvel work even more. Don't know why. Don't particularly trust the quality of most anime. But I do miss Nextwave, and I do like Warren Ellis.
Speaking of the Japanese, I've got a little vacation coming up and one of my "projects" is to read a whole bunch of Death Note. This is my version of becoming cultured. Some people travel and do things. Not me. When I get a break, I read comics from Nippon instead of America.
Megan Marie sold me on Death Note when we did that interview with her a couple months back, and then I streamed an episode on Mike's X-Box a few days ago, and that sealed the deal. I was watching Vampire Hunter D long before it was hip to watch anime, and I'm ashamed to say I'm no stranger to Legend of the Overfiend. But I've never really read much manga. Why is that? Because it reads backward? Because of Naruto? I don't know. But I'm reading Death Note next week.
The most important thing I learned this week -
Don't dream it...be it.
- Ryan
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